stepping into 2012

A brand new year again.

I looked forward to this one more than many other years in the past. 2011 was a curiously challenging year for me in so many ways. Lessons learned, wisdom gained and a sweet soul lost. I gave up making New Year resolutions a while ago but this year I truly committed to starting fresh.

While I was away from my blog for a few months I set a goal for myself to get healthy again. And instead of waiting until the new year I just laced up my shoes and started in Fall. I found that doing aerobics really helped me work out the stress from all my personal drama and the more I did it the more I loved it. The workouts also got me walking again and now I can even run.

I can walk 4-5 miles and run part of it. And I can fit into clothes that I tucked away in the back of my closet a while back. But the best part is that I'm also getting my son to get healthy and fit which was something that really concerned me the last few years. He even watches Dr. Oz with me and helps me pick healthy recipes to try out. And since my husband already started on the fitness kick about a year ago we now have something we can all do together.

There are still challenges in our relationship but we are learning the art of communicating, patience and forgiveness. Things that often times don't come naturally to me when it comes to our marriage. Trust me, my husband made it nearly impossible for me to practice these sometimes and this past year he was unforgivably rotten. But each day we can choose to be better people and that has made all the difference. Somehow I have to trust that the universe must have something extraordinary planned for me, after all I have been blessed with a truly amazing son.

December was also filled with some sadness for me, just like another December two years ago when I lost my dear kitty Kushka.

LaLou, the beautiful smoky gray kitty from next door practically lived in my backyard the last 3 years. In fact she didn't really belong to my neighbor either. She just wandered over there one night and decided to stay. Neither of us knew where she came from. My neighbor gave her food and shelter but LaLou was free to come and go so we sort of shared her in a way. He named her Smoky but I called her LaLou because that was the sound she made when she meowed.

When I lost my Kushka to cancer 2 years ago it was LaLou's visits that cheered me up everyday. I seriously thought about keeping her for myself but in the end I think she enjoyed the freedom of being able to go wherever she wanted. I always secretly thought that she liked me the most anyway.

Sadly she became very sick the end of last year and my neighbor decided it was best not to let her suffer. Even as she was getting weaker LaLou still came to see me as much as she could and I would sit with her in a little patch of sunlight under our plum tree. She was a part of my witches tea parties both years and my Luna and I eagerly looked forward to her daily visits.

It breaks my heart to see Luna looking out the window waiting for her friend. And everyday I still look under the plum tree and I quietly say hello to LaLou because I know in my heart that she still comes back to visit her favorite spot. She was such a special, beautiful little girl and I will miss her very much.

But I also know she's with all the beautiful fury girls that have been a special part of my life over the years. All dearly missed and always always eternally loved.

So here I am eagerly stepping away from 2011 and into a new year where I hope to be able to do something I think we all need to do every now and then.

That is to re-invent myself once again.

And I hope to do that in all aspects of my life including my art.

Here's to a brand new year.

I hope this one brings you real hope, endless magic and boundles bliss!