The moment when you catch yourself doing things completely different from the way you used to is always a surprise. Even when the change is deliberate. It can still sneak up on you and catch you off guard and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact it's a very good thing.
Summer break used to mean sleeping in until half the morning was nearly gone. Staying up until the wee hours of the dawn was always more natural for me. It was my time to play and dream. I relished the quite of the night, the escape from the summer sun and the dread of facing the painful reality that my marriage was not the fairytale it used to be.
Apparently my fairytale was to have more twists and turns than I expected and now I find myself in a curious place where happily ever after might be within my reach as long as I'm willing to stay on this crazy ride. I can't deny that it's both thrilling and stomach turning.
The biggest surprise is that I keep getting back on.
I started getting up early with my husband so we could spend time together before he went off to work. Sometimes we even go for a walk or a run. Until recently I would end up just doing chores or getting ready to do errands after he left. I still didn't have the desire to dabble in anything creative, both in my studio or in blogland. Putting energy into my relationship left my creative well nearly empty and I was too tired to care.
Then something started to happen in those early morning hours alone. Although the urge to create wasn't hitting me just yet I found I was starting to enjoy just being around my stuff. Touching bottles of paint, rearranging supplies, wiping dust off my brushes. It was a start.
Enough that I was able to push myself to come up with the shoe challenge and with that I found my way back to blogging again. I realized this is the most I've blogged in a long while and I'm actually enjoying it.
Another pleasant surprise.
A few days ago I came across a little treasure at the library. While looking for books to add to my summer reading list one caught my eye as I was on my way out the door. The minute I saw the cover and title I knew I had to pick it up. The description sounded magical and the first page got me hooked instantly. I knew I had to share it with a kindred spirit.
The Night Circus came out last fall, nearly the exact same moment my world blew up. Maybe that's the reason I haven't heard about it because there's no way I would have missed it under nornal circumstances. Perhaps you have read it too.
I'm still working my way through the book as I'm also reading a few other ones at the same time but I'm just loving it. I think anyone that loves beautiful visuals would be inspired by this tale and that's why I hope many of you will read it too. Because this fall I have my own surprise for you.
I've been cautiously avoiding thoughts of fall because I wasn't ready to deal with reminders that the last one was not so pleasant. It killed me because fall is my favorite time of the year. The thought that I could enjoy it somehow by looking forward to something different was yet another surprise. This one came with the help of that same kindred spirit.
That makes three amazing surprises.
I'm going to trust that my muse will stay a little longer this time and hope she might sprinkle me with more than a handful of glittery fairy magic again. The kind that whispers of a mysterious night circus, thrilling illusions and visions of black and white. Stay tuned.