stepping into 2012

A brand new year again.

I looked forward to this one more than many other years in the past. 2011 was a curiously challenging year for me in so many ways. Lessons learned, wisdom gained and a sweet soul lost. I gave up making New Year resolutions a while ago but this year I truly committed to starting fresh.

While I was away from my blog for a few months I set a goal for myself to get healthy again. And instead of waiting until the new year I just laced up my shoes and started in Fall. I found that doing aerobics really helped me work out the stress from all my personal drama and the more I did it the more I loved it. The workouts also got me walking again and now I can even run.

I can walk 4-5 miles and run part of it. And I can fit into clothes that I tucked away in the back of my closet a while back. But the best part is that I'm also getting my son to get healthy and fit which was something that really concerned me the last few years. He even watches Dr. Oz with me and helps me pick healthy recipes to try out. And since my husband already started on the fitness kick about a year ago we now have something we can all do together.

There are still challenges in our relationship but we are learning the art of communicating, patience and forgiveness. Things that often times don't come naturally to me when it comes to our marriage. Trust me, my husband made it nearly impossible for me to practice these sometimes and this past year he was unforgivably rotten. But each day we can choose to be better people and that has made all the difference. Somehow I have to trust that the universe must have something extraordinary planned for me, after all I have been blessed with a truly amazing son.

December was also filled with some sadness for me, just like another December two years ago when I lost my dear kitty Kushka.

LaLou, the beautiful smoky gray kitty from next door practically lived in my backyard the last 3 years. In fact she didn't really belong to my neighbor either. She just wandered over there one night and decided to stay. Neither of us knew where she came from. My neighbor gave her food and shelter but LaLou was free to come and go so we sort of shared her in a way. He named her Smoky but I called her LaLou because that was the sound she made when she meowed.

When I lost my Kushka to cancer 2 years ago it was LaLou's visits that cheered me up everyday. I seriously thought about keeping her for myself but in the end I think she enjoyed the freedom of being able to go wherever she wanted. I always secretly thought that she liked me the most anyway.

Sadly she became very sick the end of last year and my neighbor decided it was best not to let her suffer. Even as she was getting weaker LaLou still came to see me as much as she could and I would sit with her in a little patch of sunlight under our plum tree. She was a part of my witches tea parties both years and my Luna and I eagerly looked forward to her daily visits.

It breaks my heart to see Luna looking out the window waiting for her friend. And everyday I still look under the plum tree and I quietly say hello to LaLou because I know in my heart that she still comes back to visit her favorite spot. She was such a special, beautiful little girl and I will miss her very much.

But I also know she's with all the beautiful fury girls that have been a special part of my life over the years. All dearly missed and always always eternally loved.

So here I am eagerly stepping away from 2011 and into a new year where I hope to be able to do something I think we all need to do every now and then.

That is to re-invent myself once again.

And I hope to do that in all aspects of my life including my art.

Here's to a brand new year.

I hope this one brings you real hope, endless magic and boundles bliss!


earthenmagic said...

...keep well my newest dear gentle friend! ~ may the five winds blow sweet caressess upon your temple door! ~ blessed be!...
...i bequeath a sonnet for thee...

Anonymous said...

How nice to hear from you and know that you are doing well. Congrats on's my most fav thing to do and clears the cobwebs from the brain! Like you, I walk long distances daily to keep fit, so come on over and we'll go together!
Seriously, continued blessings on your health and marriage. Talking and forgiveness are giant steps!

Leanne said...

I've been thinking of you so often lately . . . not sure why . . . just the universe telling me to send some happy thoughts your way, I guess. :) It's so wonderful to see you here, and to hear your update on the past month or so. You are my hero on the walking/running/healthy lifestyle changes. Thinking of you, my friend.

BLISS angels said...

Dear sweet Anna I 've missed your blog posts and your fun projects. I'm so pleased to see your back and sorry that 2011 had such a challenge for you and your family. sending my warmest hugs your way and hope for a brighter new year Hugs wendy

Anonymous said...

Today I was thinking of you quite strongly and now here you are. My place in the blogiverse has changed hughly as I focused on my health and my hubby. Wonderful to see you once more. Here is to a wonderful 2012

A Magical Whimsy said...

Dearest Anna
So glad to see you posting. Sorry to hear of your kitty and the story of her neighborhood background. I love cats so I can totally relate. Our back door neighbors kind of did the same thing with a cat that was ours and theirs too. He was ours first, then they 'claimed' him. When they would let him out of their house, the first thing he would do was to jump over the backyard fence and come visit us. Cats have beautiful souls. They can feel who loves them.
Always be who you are deep down inside...sometimes it is the ones we love the most who we cannot change their personalities. Men CAN be rotten and it is like they are from another world at times. Persue your creativity, do things for yourself as you need that creative energy to heal your soul. I know, I have been there.
And I have come to realize that it is not ME that makes my husband do some rotten things...he has choices too. I think there is a poem that says something like 'Choose life, Choose love and above all be true to yourself.' Not in a selfish way but to protect yourself from people you know you can't change. Protect your heart as you are the keeper of it. I am facing the new year with joy of who I am and with a calm spirit, and I feel this year is what I will make it. Be strong and always believe in yourself that is your protection.
warm wishes and thank you for sharing~
Teresa in California

A Magical Whimsy said...

I wanted to add that I was thinking very strongly of you too and had come to your blog a couple of, many were thinking of you...beautiful thoughts are powerful!

Toriz said...

I'm sorry to hear that 2011 was so challenging for you; I hope 2012 is a better year! *Hugs*

Lisa said...

I admire you so much for weathering a storm with such grace, dignity, and compassion. Many blessings to you and your family in the new year.

Linda said...

I am so glad to hear from you my friend. Hope this year brings good health and bliss to all of you. I've also been going to the health club regulary. Biking for two miles and doing free weights ...It is a start. We all need it. It gives us new hope for the new year. I hope to see some of your new art work soon. Your work is a breath of fresh air. we still have no snow here in Michigan...really strange weather...It is 43 today. Snow will come soon enough...I just know it.

Faerie Moon Creations said...

Dear Anna,

I wish for you a magical and happy New Year. I hope the year brings many new possibilities and health and art and everything else for you. I know how challenging 2011 was for you - you are strong and talented and loved. Just remember that and move full speed ahead!

Victoria said...

Anna, I'm so glad to see you posting. You've been in my thoughts.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your 'shared' kitty. You have a good heart, Anna.

I'm sending you lots of good thoughts and wishes that 2012 will be a happy, wonderful year for you...


Margaret said...

Oh Anna what a heartfelt post. I wish you all the best in 2012, may it bring you many joyous moments and good health. Mx

CuddlyBunny said...

May each day of 2012 be better than the day before ...

And thank you so much for your lovely blog, last years' bag challenges and the Practical Magic party ... I might not have participated as fully each time as I'd liked ... but I enjoyed every one of the minutes spent in your world. :)

Celia said...

I have missed you so much! I'm so sorry to hear about your little kitty....and I hope 2012 brings much health and happiness your way!

Anonymous said...

Oh Anna, I have missed you so very much and was so delighted to see this post today. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your tender LaLou. We always seem to loose a small piece of our heart when they go, don't we my lovely friend?

How wonderful that you are still working things out in your relationship and health has become a part of your daily routine. You look fabulous, by the way.

Best of luck in all the magical awakenings life may bring you.

Brianne said...

You wrote such a touching tribute to LaLou. I, too, have had dear feline friends that have chosen me and those that I have chosen. So many over the years and so many to come. I supose the day Luna stops looking, you'll know LaLou has journied on; back to visit when that patch of sunlight is just right... Peace to you, Anna, and to Luna. Brianne